Wish Gone Wrong
by saki-san
Summary: Tohru makes a wish that has very...erm..hilarious effects on those around her. Now, as the clock is ticking, will she be able to get everything back to normal? This fic is going to be funny, I swear! Lots of Kyoru fluff! .
1. Chapter 1

**I am currently writing a more serious story and I thought that it would be cool to write a funnier one too! So…I don't really know what else to say! Lol.**

**Disclaimer: I have no connection with Furuba and it characters in any way. SCREW YOU! Um..now on with the story! (runs away as she awaits an angry mob)  
**

**Wish Gone Wrong  
**

Kazuma chuckled at the orange haired teen storming out of his dojo, still wearing his training uniform. _'Honestly, that boy gets to worked up.' _ He seemed to shrug off all of the threats spewing out of Kyo's mouth as he continued to storm off. _'He better come back tomorrow if he wishes to win this tournament…which now I am sure he does!'_ He chuckled even more when he remembered **why **his 'son' was so upset.

_**Flashback**_

Kazuma wondered into the training room with a bottle of water for Kyo.

"You need to stop working yourself so hard! Take a break." Kyo snatched the bottle of water out of his hands and put on his boyish grin he always got when he was around Kazuma.

"I can't help it Master! I am so pumped up and ready to cream this guy!" He took a long gulp of water which gave Kazuma time to pursue the topic.

"I understand that you want to make a good impression on your school, since the tournament is being held there, but I get the feeling there is someone in particular that you are trying to impress. Maybe perhaps…Tohru Honda." Water spewed out of Kyo's mouth and drenched the front of his training uniform.

"What the hell are you talking about! I don't like her," he snapped quickly. When he realized how unconvincing he sounded, he started to kick the punching bag. Kazuma came over to hold it steady for him and continued to make Kyo uncomfortable with his accusations.

"It's perfectly normal to feel this way, Kyo. After all, she has accepted you! But I think that she will like you whether or not you win." Kyo sent a hard punch into the bag, which Kazuma was jostled by.

"Ok, I probably deserved that. I suggest you don't think about her when you fight on Wednesday or you might just murder the poor guy."

"WOULD YOU STOP SUGGESTING THAT I LIKE HER!" Kyo fumed and his master just continued to chuckle.

"You have been spending to much time with that damn dog!" He continued to scream as he gathered his bag and stormed out of the house.

_**End Flashback**_

"_**When will that boy ever learn to handle his emotions?" Kazuma said more to himself than anyone else.**_

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

Tohru waited patiently at the table for Kyo to come home. She hadn't eaten supper yet because she had figured that Kyo would like the company, whenever he came home. She looked up hopefully when she heard the front door slam and she hurried into the hall. Tohru saw a blurry form of orange rush past her and run up the stairs. He was halfway up when her timid voice stopped him.

"Um Kyo? I made you dinner. I was hoping we could eat together." He stopped so suddenly when he heard her voice that he tripped and fell on one of the stairs in front of him. Dusting himself off he yelled at her.

"LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Tohru winced when she heard the window-rattling slam of a door.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

'_I've really done it now…' _ Kyo slammed his fist on the desk in his room, but immediately regretted it when it gave a throb. _'Why can't I say anything right when it comes to her?'_ He cursed Kazuma for making his predicament seem so obvious. _'Maybe if I show her that I **can **fight, then she'll forgive me.' _He dropped onto his bed and sleep overtook his exhausted body.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

Tohru's head popped over the edge of the roof as she looked for the angry cat. She sat down with a sigh when she realized that he must have been too upset with her to even go to the roof. _'Why can't I say anything right when it comes to him?' _ She silently blamed herself for all of the unhappiness the cat had. Tohru continued to gaze at the stars, for what felt like hours until she shot up excitedly.

"A shooting star!" She clapped her hands together and went through her options for what to wish for, but her mind always went back to Kyo.

'_I wish I knew how I could help him…That's it! If I could know how he thinks, then I could understand him more and then he wouldn't get so angry with me.' She closed her eyes and silently wished. 'I wish I could see the world through Kyo's eyes.' _

But she had no idea what kind of trouble and embarrassing situations that one little wish could make…

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

**So there's my first chapter! I promise the next one is going to be more long and way funnier! Please review! Saki  
**


	2. Uhoh

**So I have returned! Ok…if you haven't read my other story, I should tell you that I always leave comments to my reviewers at the end of every chapter (just 'cause I'm nice like that! .) **

**Disclaimer: It gets harder and harder to come up with interesting ones.**

**Hiro: Just get on with the damn story!  
Me: Maybe I'm kinda glad I don't own Furuba.  
Hiro: And what's that supposed to mean?  
Me: That if I did own Furuba, you might find yourself in very awkward situations involving Shigure and Ayame.  
Hiro: (runs to corner to hide)  
Me: I am such a people person.**

Uh-Oh

(Tohru) stumbled out of her room with her eyes closed, rubbing them sleepily. She caught a glimpse of the morning sky out of the window before making her way down stairs. _'It's such a beautiful morning!' _(Tohru) stepped outside into the fresh morning air and twirled around, breathing in deeply. She began to hum a tune as she removed the cloths from the cloth's line and folded them neatly in a basket.

(Tohru) panicked when she heard her normally sweet voice come out raspy. She cleared her throat and felt her forehead. _'Oh, I can't get sick now! Tomorrow's Monday and I promised Mom I wouldn't miss any school unless it couldn't be avoided! I am so stupid, I shouldn't have stayed outside for so long last night.'_

She dropped the basket of cloths at the foot of the stairs so she could put them away when the residents of the house woke up and made her way into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and stared at its contents, debating on what to cook for breakfast and lunch, until a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"There's no milk." Shigure said from his position in the doorway. (Tohru) let out her famous "eep" and relaxed when she saw that it was only the playful dog.

"Oh I'm sorry Shigure! I can run to the store later and buy some if you want me to!" He looked at her confused and started to chuckle. "You know, you are starting to spend a little to much time with our flower. Not that I wouldn't mind spending some more 'time' with her, myself." Shigure closed his eyes, awaiting the punch that would meet his stomach any moment and the cry of "PERVERT!", but it never came. He opened one eye cautiously, and then the other and began questioning this odd behavoir before he was interrupted by a very loud, and very terrifying scream.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

It started out as an ordinary Sunday for (Kyo). He woke up early to go for a jog and do his other martial arts training. Stumbling, blinded by sleep, he went into the bathroom and shut the door a little roughly. He leaned against it and slowly opened his eyes, adjusting them to the bright light. Satisfied with his eyesight clearing, he went over to the toilet and was about to begin his…er…"business" when he discovered that something was **VERY **wrong. His face burned bright red with anger and embarrassment. _'You're just dreaming! It's all a dream…Now it's time to wake up.' _ He closed his eyes and pinched himself hard. He **really **hated these kinds of dreams. Slowly opening his eyes, he looked down again.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He ran out of the bathroom and into his room. _'Oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIT! I have turned into a damn women! How the fuck could I have let this happen!' _ He thought stupidly while pacing around. Pounding footsteps on the stairs brought him away from his thoughts. _'I can't let them see me like this…I can't let **HER **see me like this!' _

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

(Tohru) leapt up the stairs, almost tripping over her basket of clothes. She looked around the hall, trying to find the source of the scream but couldn't find a clue. Yuki fell out of his room and glared at her.

"What the hell did you do to her?" He stood, brushing himself off and making his way towards her.

"…Do?" She said trying to get around Yuki. He was not being his normal, princely self, and it was scaring her. Yuki continued to stare at her evilly until Shigure bounded up the stairs and pushed the two out of the way, knocking (Tohru) into Yuki. They fell on the floor in a heap of arms and legs (hehe…just imagining it aren't you?). (Tohru) began to yell her normal apologies but looked at him stunned when he didn't transform. Yuki, outraged that they had stayed in that position **WAY **to long for him to be comfortable, threw her off of him and searched the house for the source of the scream.

(Tohru's) eyes filled with tears as she rubbed the bump on the back of her head. _'Why are they acting so strange this morning? It almost feels like…they don't want me here anymore.' _ Panic filled her heart as she thought about what she was going to do if they wouldn't allow her to live there anymore. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard another high pitched scream. This time it was much closer and she realized the source was coming from Kyo's room. _'Oh no, what if he is still angry with me?'_ She saw Yuki and Shigure exchange glances before opening the door.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

(Kyo) continued pacing back in forth. _'I'm hallucinating…that must be it.' _His reflection caught his eyes as he was walking back in forth very quickly. He looked closely in the mirror and screamed even louder than before. _'TOHRU?'_

All of the color drained out of his face when Shigure and Yuki opened his door.

"Miss Honda? Are you alright?" Yuki rushed over to him and (Kyo) looked around, dazed.

"Ah, what is our beautiful Flower doing in the cat's room? All of us secretly have our fantasies but this is quite unexpected." Shigure waved a finger at her naughtily.

(Kyo's) face burned with rage and embarrassment. "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT YOU-". His eyes fell on the other figure in the door and his face completely lost color. "You…you…" he raised a shaky finger at (Tohru) and both of their jaws dropped as they stared at themselves. (Tohru) was the first to lose consciousness, muttering one word before dropping to the floor. "Oops."

(Kyo) dropped immediately after with an "Uh-oh". And all went black.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

**Ah! I hoped you liked the second chapter! I really wanted to say this before the chapter so you didn't get confused, but (Kyo) is Kyo in Tohru's body. And (Tohru) is Tohru in Kyo's body. I read a place switching story a long time ago and they made it soooo confusing. So don't say I made you confused! Go back and re-read it if you have to! Anywho, things are going to get pretty funny next chapter.**

**And now to my fabulous reviewers! GAHH! I didn't realize 'till now how many people reviewed…14! Normally I only have four to six people review a chapter, but…how about I just leave comments to the good reviews? I really wish I could say something to all of you, but I ain't super woman!**

**Ixilight: parades! I effin love parades! And all for me? (blushes)**

**KittySand Katie: Thanks for adding me to your C2! I feel so loved…**

**SladesDaughter: Kyo! Haha! (takes deep breath) In drag! (continues shrieking with laughter while parents call the shrink)**

**P. Fishies: (cough cough) I don't FEEL sick! But that isn't what my shrink says either…I swear, IT'S A CONSPIRACY! You all are just jealous! (mumbles to self and goes in the corner)**

**TTFN! And stay tuned to find out exactly what happens!**


	3. Virus

**It's official…I LOVE MY REVIEWERS! I didn't know that this story was so funny to all of you! I knew that I was dying laughing, just writing it, but I'm glad all of you found it funny also!**

**Disclaimer: (The movie announcer guy's deep voice)  
One show…One girl  
Driven by a love for Furuba…  
Now, this autumn…she will face the fact that the show,  
Belongs to someone else…  
Join Saki in a sorrowful tale of one girl, trying to fulfill her destiny to become the owner of Fruits Basket.  
Rated R for "review or I will be forced to hurt you"**

Virus

"So can you tell me one more time what happened?" Hatori's soft voice floated over Kyo, who heard what he was saying, but didn't quite register it.

"I heard screaming, and not the kind I am used to hearing mind you," Shigure grinned pervertedly as Hatori shook his head in disgust. "I bravely climbed up the stairs, ready to face any sudden death that might come to me, when-" Shigure took a dramatic breath and Hatori sighed. "I found young, impressionable Tohru in the neko's room. She was still fully clothed, so I can only fantasize about what **might **have gone on in that room."

"You know, one day you are going to get locked up for saying stuff like that." Hatori said feeling (Kyo's) pulse. "You're lucky she's asleep and not able to hear anything that you are saying."

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

"Tooooohru!" Momiji shook (Kyo) awake. "Good morning sleepy head! Are you feeling any better?" He asked (Kyo) brightly. Confused, (Kyo) just stared at him until memories of the previous day flooded through his mind. Suddenly, (Kyo) grabbed a lock of long, brown hair and held it in front of his face, screaming. Momiji screamed in a high pitched voice also and ran out of the room.

"Ha'ri! Ha'ri! Something is wrong with Tohru! She's acting all funny!" Momiji said, close to tears. Hatori followed closely behind the hysterical bunny and saw (Kyo) still staring at the strand of hair in front of his face.

"Ah, your awake. You gave us quite a scare." Hatori said calmly to (Kyo), who fell back against the pillow, still in shock.

"What's wrong with her Ha'ri?" Momiji asked, worried.

"It is probably some sort of virus going around. It looks as if Kyo has it as well. They aren't running fevers, so it should be fine for them to go to school tomorrow." Hatori said lowly as (Kyo) stirred in his sleep.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

Sweat poured over (Tohru) and she quickly sat up in bed. _'What did I do! Kyo is going to hate me forever now…' _(Tohru) debated whether or not she should pretend that she had no clue what happened, but decided against it. _'That would almost be like telling a lie…and I can't do that.' _

(Tohru) jumped out of bed and looked down at her feet. She tried walking, but it felt odd because Kyo was so much taller than her. The digital clock beside Kyo's bed said that it was around midnight, but (Tohru) knew that Kyo would be awake. Arriving outside of her room, she called out Kyo's name and idly wondered what it would look like to Shigure or Yuki if they saw Kyo knocking on her door and calling out his own name. Without thinking, she giggled and jumped when she heard how low and…stupid his voice sounded, giggling like a girl.

A white faced (Kyo) answered the door to her room and yanked (Tohru) in by the arm.  
"What the hell happened?" (Kyo) said in a harsh whisper. (Tohru) fidgeted with her fingers and looked down.  
"Well umm you see…" (Tohru) proceeded in telling Kyo all about her wish and how sorry she was. He stared at her for a moment before snapping.

"YOU WHAT!" (Kyo) said loudly, causing (Tohru) to flinch. Secretly, (Kyo) was touched that she cared so much, but she didn't have to turn him into a damn girl!  
"I really didn't know that it would turn out this way! Maybe we should tell Hatori or Shig-"

"No way in hell am I telling anyone! We'll just have to figure out some way to fix this on our own." (Kyo) interrupted.

"But Kyo, we have school tomorrow and I'm not sure I can act like you." (Tohru) said lowly.

"Ya…and I ain't no saint, so it's gonna be tough trying to be you." He mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"Aw, come on Tohru. Everyone knows your perfect!" (Kyo) said without thinking.

"I…I'm not perfect Kyo." She said, lowering her eyes.

"Well, I think you are.." (Kyo) leaned closer, his eyes drifting shut. Just as their lips were a few inches apart, he opened his eyes. He found his own red eyes staring back, and realized how disgusting it would have been to go through with his plan. _'WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING! THAT IS **SO **WRONG!' _He shuddered when he imagined that his first kiss would have been with a guy…well not a guy, but sort of.

After about an hour's worth of planning and avoiding the awkward situation they had just been in, (Tohru) and (Kyo) had everything planned out. (Kyo) would have to take up all of the chores and odd jobs that Tohru did around the house, and (Tohru) would have to go to the dojo everyday for training. They both silently wished that they got their original bodies back before the tournament.

"Um…Kyo?" (Tohru) asked quietly, before exiting the room.

"Ya, what is it?" He replied, sinking under the covers. Lord knows he had thought about being in her room many times, but he never expected it to be like this. _'I feel like a pervert!'_

"I **really **have to go to the bathroom." She whispered and his eyes widened at her predicament. Suddenly his bladder felt full, seeing as how he hadn't actually ever accomplished his goal that morning.

"Um…well…" He stuttered. _'What the hell am I supposed to say to that?' _ Unfortunately, only one thing popped into his mind…and it wasn't quite the appropriate thing to say.

"Just aim for the toilet." He said. He clapped a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. _'SHIT!'_ Tohru stared at him wide eyed for a few moments before muttering "thanks" and stumbling out of the room.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

(Kyo's) alarm clock went off a few hours later and he shot out of bed. He stared into the refrigerator and looked over its contents. His eyes fell on the leeks (Tohru) had recently bought, and he shoved them behind a carton of milk. _'No way in hell…' _Finally deciding to fix a breakfast to his liking, (Kyo) pulled out all of the ingredients he would need to make Miso soup.

Yuki stumbled into the kitchen, a few minutes later. (Kyo) noticed that he was awake a few minutes earlier than he normally was, and casually wondered why. He soon found out…

"Um Miss Honda?" Yuki said, staring at (Kyo) who was stirring the pot of boiling soup.

"Miss Honda?" He called again, finally catching (Kyo's) attention, who had forgotten that 'Miss Honda' was him. The normal anger Kyo experienced whenever talking to Yuki, flashed in his eyes but he managed a very Tohru like comment. "Is there something that you needed Yuki?"

"Well I was very worried about you yesterday," Yuki said satisfied that he had finally gotten her attention. Yuki had decided late the night before that today would be the day he told Tohru how he felt about her. "and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming to the secret base with me this after noon?" He said leaning uncomfortably close to him. (Kyo) backed away and bit his tongue to keep from telling him to piss off.

"That sounds like fun," he muttered instead. Yuki leaned in closer and was about to kiss her when-

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" (Kyo) grabbed the nearest frying pan and whacked him upside the head. Yuki clutched the back of his head and ran into the living room.

Shigure, who had witnessed the entire scene, followed after him and snickered at the sulking rat at the other end of the table.

"If you're going to say something, say it already." Yuki said coldly. _'What possessed her to do that?' _Shigure busted out laughing and finally calmed after a moment.

"I wouldn't take it so personally, Yuki. Ha'ri said that she and Kyo might suffer from some odd side affects. Like hallucination…" The dog said with another snicker. Yuki just rolled his eyes, and prayed that she wouldn't remember a thing.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

(Tohru) came down to breakfast a little while later and took Kyo's seat at the table. She had worried all night about how she was supposed to act, and finally decided that the less talking she did, the better. Everyone ate in silence for a while until Shigure broke it.

"Boys? I must ask that whomever is peeing on the toilet please stop."

(Tohru) nearly choked on her rice.

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**

**Don't worry…It's far from the end. Sorry if this chapter wasn't as funny as the last one. I sorta have a case of writer's block. Oh wells… Lots of pervs in this chapter eh? **

**Ah! I am completely pissed! I heard through the grapevine that is deleting accounts of people who leave messages to their reviewers! SCREW YOU! I like leaving messages to my fabulous reviewers! I got an idea though! I am gonna make a list of people who have favorited my stories or me as an author in particular, and post it on my profile. It will take a couple of days, though. I just can't write stories without having some kind of interaction with my reviewers! Love you guys! Saki**


	4. Locker Rooms

**I'M BACK! Hey, why are you running?**

**Disclaimer: -huff- why do all of you always do that? You guys are starting to remind me of my friends and family… I NEED MY SHRINK!**

Locker Rooms

Yuki stared at (Tohru) and flinched when she turned around. She snorted at his flinch and walked ahead with (Kyo) who seemed to be daydreaming. It wasn't till a few minutes later, that Kyo walked straight into a pole.

Holding back a snicker, Yuki thought _'What the hell is wrong with them today?'_

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

Tohru and Kyo headed off by themselves for a pep talk, before they faced their "friends".

"Remember what I said about being mean to rat boy!" He whispered, basking in the joy of her being mean to him. (Tohru) looked uncertain for a moment, but then raised a fist in determination and said "I'll do it! I'll do it for you!" (A/N: hahaha! Umm…inside joke! )

"Kyo? Please be patient today…"

"As long as you promise not to be as patient…" He replied, thinking how awful it would be if his friends saw him being all girly. Somewhere in the distance the bell rang, and they wished each other luck, silently hoping that neither made them look like a fool.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

Everything was going great…until gym class. (Kyo) was backed against the wall, his eyes glued to the ceiling in attempt **not** to look at the many half-naked girls surrounding him. _'If I felt like a pervert before…I sure as hell feel like one now! Maybe if I stand **very** still, they won't know that I'm here…'_ His attempt was shattered when I girl who looked slightly older than Tohru, and was very much not dressed, waltzed over to him while rummaging through her purse.

"Damn…hey Tohru? Can I borrow a tampon" She asked, unbashfully.

"YOU WANT A WHAT?" (Kyo) screamed, then let out a "eep" before storming out of the locker room. Everyone stared after him for a moment, before the girl spoke.

"All I wanted was a tampon…"

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

(Meanwhile)

(Tohru) stared, wide-eyed around the locker room. _'This is so wrong!' _ Her mind screamed, and she tightly shut her eyes, while slumping against the wall. She remained where she was for a good ten minutes, until one guy in particular walked over to her. She opened her eyes when she heard Kyo's name being called and came face-to-face with one of his friends…wearing nothing but a towel!

"Yo, can I borrow some deodorant?" He asked leaning against the wall beside her.

"Aghh! I can't do this!" She screamed, covering her eyes as she blindly ran out of the locker room. She kept running, with her hands covering her eyes until she ran right into someone.

"SHIT! Would you get out of my way!" (Kyo) screamed, rubbing his head. He looked up and saw his own fiery red eyes staring back.

"Aghh! Kyo, I'm so sorry!" She started crying and a few bystanders snickered…seeing the tough guy cry was just too funny!

"Sshhh! I didn't mean it…Come on!" He grabbed her hand and pulled a blubbering (Tohru) outside. Finally, when they were settled under a tree and in the shade she calmed down.

"Now do you want to tell me what's wrong?" He asked hesitantly, but already knew the answer. They both had last period gym…and he felt that he wasn't the only one that had locker room trouble.

"They were so…naked!" She screeched, covering her eyes in shame.

"I feel your pain…" He muttered, and it took her a minute to realize that he had to go into the girls locker room.

"Aghh! Here I am blubbering about me, when you had to go through the same thing! It must have been horrible!" She patted his arm, trying to comfort him. _'How the hell am I supposed to tell her that it has been my life dream to be in that locker room…It's just so weird from a girl's point of view.'_

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

(Kyo) gripped his stomach as he tried to cook supper. He was having very odd…feelings. He moaned in pain and leaned the spoon against the side of the pot. He finally decided that it must be because he had been avoiding going to the bathroom. Cutting down the two times a day to avoid embarrassing himself, he decided it was time to relieve himself. Closing his eyes, he sat down and the pains continued. _'What the hell is it?'_ He thought, furious that the pains were continuing. Forgetting to close his eyes, he looked down and saw a sight that a million years as a girl could never have prepared him for. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he pulled up his pants and ran outside. He continued running and screaming around the yard until he fell on the ground from exhaustion.

'_I'm bleeding to death!' His mind screemed and he continued to roll in pain. Suddenly he had a major craving for chocolate._

There was no doubt about it…Kyo's monthly friend had arrived.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**Mwahaha! I feel so…evil! Finally, all those bastards will pay for taking us for granted! -presents Kyo with a large bottle of Midol-  
Kyo: gee thanks, I feel so loved.  
Me: hey buddy, that stuff comes in handy! **

**Umm…so one of my reviewers kindly pointed out that Kyo doesn't like Miso…but if you remember correctly, he said it's ok as long as it's soup! It's funny though, 'cause I was wondering if anyone would be observant enough to notice when I wrote it. So my hat goes off to you KittySand Katie for being uber observant! **

**And sorry if this chapter was kinda short…I have done A LOT of writing this weekend. In fact…I started on two new Fruits Basket stories, check 'em out! -Saki-  
**


	5. Fire in the Hole

**OMG! I am SOOOOOO sorry for not updating like I should! I have had a major case of writer's block and all of my stories have suffered it…But I packed this chapter with extra craziness and funny and uncomfortable scenes, JUST FOR YOU! Maybe if I get enough reviews, praising my abilities as a writer, than I shall update sooner:hint hint:**

**Disclaimer: Poop…some of us can't be born lucky, so I guess I'll just have to stick to writing fan fiction, because I don't own Fruits basket.**

**Fire in the Hole**

(Kyo) threw a rock off of the roof and cursed loudly.

"Stupid fucking curse!" He yelled…shaking an angry fist at the sky. Yuki had just happened to walk outside as the small rock was falling and looked up to see whom he thought was Tohru.

"What the hell are you looking at? Damn idiot!" (Kyo) yelled, throwing another rock at the rat, whom was running away now like a rat escaping a burning ship (pun intended!).

"Ya you better run you stupid mother-"

"Kyo?" A quiet voice called, and (Tohru) popped her head over the edge of the roof. (Kyo) blushed at his outburst a sat down quickly, wincing at the sudden movement. Seeing his wince, (Tohru) turned beat red. It didn't take a rocket scientist to find out why Kyo was running around the yard like a chicken with its head cut off earlier.

"Um…Kyo? I brought you something…" (Tohru) said warily, bringing a small plastic bag from behind her back. Kyo watched halfheartedly with his eyelid's half open.

'_God…I feel so **tired!**' _He thought, stifling a yawm behind his hand. Tohru smiled happily but kept her hand in the bag, hiding its contents from the sleepy boy…er…girl.

"It's for you!" She said happily, covering the embarrassment she felt but feeling his own as she handed him and EXTRA large bottle of midol…

'_Lord, Kill me now…' _He silently prayed as she distributed her hand into the plastic bag once more. (Kyo) was already beat red, as if he had stayed to long in the sun, but he had an odd feeling , call it women's intuition, that (Tohru) wasn't quite done with her embarrassment-fest.

(Tohru) looked sheepishly around before withdrawing her hand once more. '_I might as well get it over with now!'_ She said mentally, pulling another item out of the bag. (Kyo's) eyes followed from the tip of **_HIS_** fingers to the long slender-

"A stick?" He asked dumbly, but Tohru had already scooted just a bit closer.

"No Kyo," She said lowly. "This won't hurt a bit." And with that, my friends, she threw her full body weight onto the unsuspecting cat.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

Shigure drug on his cigarette deeply as he listened to the conversation coming through his slightly open office window. It didn't take long for the shady dog to realize what was happening…and if he was wrong in his ideas, Tohru would have a very hard time explaining why she hit Yuki with a frying pan….and a rock…and a steel baseball bat…

'_Whoops, must have imagined that one!' _Shigure sung to himself, and drug on his cigarette once again as he listened to the terrified screams coming from (Tohru).

Suddenly, struck by his creative spirit, Shigure wanted to help his young comrades. Determined to find a cure for their new curse bestowed upon them, Shigure vowed to help in any way he could.

He put a hand to his forehead dramatically for full effect of his inner monologue. But as soon as he was sure the angel on his right shoulder was gone….this lovely dog sprouted horns and picked up the phone.

'_This is going to be interesting…' _He thought while smirking to himself.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

(Kyo) groaned and hit the small alarm clock next to Tohru's bed with all the energy he could muster at this time in the morning.

'_How does she get up so early?' _He thought to himself while yawning out loud.

Deciding that he was to tired to make a big breakfast this morning, Kyo blindly reached a hand into the cabinet pulling out anything to make. Without even glancing at his choice, or even opening the package for that matter, Kyo threw the small box into the waiting pan.

Lying his head on the cool table, Kyo was about to drift asleep when a certain mischievous novelist popped his head into the kitchen.

"Good morning Tohru!" He boomed loudly, ignoring the wince received. Leaning over the contents of the now smoking pot, he sniffed at it lightly.

'_Oh how we must pay for a simple mistake!'_

Ignoring the now on fire package in the hot pan, Shigure sat across from the teen and sipped a cup of tea lightly.

"And how did you sleep my little flower?" He asked brightly…and quite loudly.

"Just fine…" (Kyo) muttered into his arms.

The two sat in silence, immersed in their own thoughts (or in Kyo's case, his eyelids) until Shigure pulled his collar away from his neck and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"It's getting hot in here."

"A little…but I'm not taking of my clothes" Kyo stated mildly.

Shigure let out a dramatic gasp and pointed behind Kyo. (Kyo) turned around, and jumped up screaming when he saw the fire now engulfing the metal pan.

"Oh shit!"

"Call an ambulance!"

"Oh shit!"

"Call a doctor!"

"Oh shit!"

"Call that really cute nurse with the super short skirt that won't return my phone calls!"

"OH SHIT!" (Kyo) screamed loudly again, while proceeding to put out the first with measuring cups of water. It worked…eventually, but not before waking the other two residents of the house.

"What's going on here?" Yuki asked rubbing a sleepy eye. Shigure patted (Kyo's) back and gestured to the now charcoaled pan.

"Tohru here was just teaching us the art of flambé and pudding!" He sayed, pointing to the now black pudding box in the pan.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

Everyone stared around the table while eating their takeout for breakfast. After a particularly long and uncomfortable silence, Shigure cleared his throat as they went to their rooms to collect their school books.

"Kyo? Kagura called yesterday and she announced that she will be coming over tomorrow." He said, watching the orange haired teen pale visibly. (Kyo) snickered behind his hand and nudged her gently.

"And Tohru? Ayame would like to know if you would model some dresses for him tomorrow." Shigure stated, relishing in the glow of red coming from the angry cat trapped in his love interest's body.

There was one thing for sure… tomorrow was going to be quite the day.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**WRITER'S BLOCK FINALLY OVER! I hoped you liked this chapter! Dude…I have just been SO busy lately! With life and what not… But if you are craving more of Saki, which everyone happens to have a problem with, then check out my other stories! (Self promotion is a beautiful thing…) -Saki-**


	6. PMS

**Ya ya, I know. No excuses for not updating. Shutup…**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it…never will unless someone get's shot, then someone else get's shot and I somehow inherit the company. Like _that_ will happen, -twirls revolver around finger-**

**I'm just kidding for all of those with an evil gleam in your eyes. Don't pay me back by suing me for violent insanities, pay me back by…dancing really badly. Oh yeah, that burns my eyes…ok, you can stop now…really, stop. I can't even see you! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DANCING?**

_Last Time_

Everyone stared around the table while eating their takeout for breakfast. After a particularly long and uncomfortable silence, Shigure cleared his throat as they went to their rooms to collect their school books.

"Kyo? Kagura called yesterday and she announced that she will be coming over tomorrow." He said, watching the orange haired teen pale visibly. (Kyo) snickered behind his hand and nudged her gently.

"And Tohru? Ayame would like to know if you would model some dresses for him tomorrow." Shigure stated, relishing in the glow of red coming from the angry cat trapped in his love interest's body.

There was one thing for sure… tomorrow was going to be quite the day.

PMS

"I AM GOING TO MURDER THAT DAMN DOG!" (Kyo) yelled furiously outside the front door while (Tohru) attempted to calm him down. She got him quite but one strange look from Yuki set him off again.

"AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT! Don't make me get my frying pan!" Kyo threatened, and Yuki scrambled ahead to walk by himself.

"Kyo, did you take the medicine I gave you? You seem like you might be PMSing." (Tohru) said lowly, and (Kyo) screeched.

"SHHHH! I am _not_ PMSing…I'm just…angry, see? Grrr." He growled at (Tohru) and bared his teeth.

'_Or maybe he's just insane…'_ (Tohru) thought, giving (Kyo) an odd look.

"Well anyways," (Tohru) said not seeing the Prince Yuki Fan Club walking past. "Did you bring your tampons today?" (Tohru) turned to meet the distgusted faces of the club members and one _very _embarrassed Kyo.

"YOU KYO SOHMA ARE A PERVERT! You don't ask a woman a question like that!" Minami screemed pointing a finger in (Tohru's) face.

"But I _am_ a girl!" (Tohru) defended herself. This resulted in a collective gasp, then a very loud "EWWW!" from the president.

"Come on Tohru, you don't need to be treated like this. What a disgusting freak…" Minami said, dragging (Kyo) off.

"Help, me!" (Kyo) mouthed to (Tohru) behind their backs, but Tohru was too busy looking at her nether regions (through her pants you perv!). Suddenly she looked up and pronounced, "Oh I was wrong, I AM a boy!" She said, looking triumphant at her discovery.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

Ayame stepped away from his creation and called Mine to see if it fit her likings. She squealed and fiddled with the ribbon, stating that it was his cutest outfit yet.

"Aghh, then I must start over…" Ayame said, removing the dress from the rack.

"But Ayame, why?" Mine said, looking confused.

"I wasn't going for 'cute', I was going for terribly sexy yet extremely embarrassing." He said, sending the dress through the shredder.

Secretly, Ayame laughed manically in his mind. Shigure had called to tell him about Kyo and Tohru's…misfortune, and Ayame had agreed to help make Kyo's life as miserable as possible.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

(Kyo) ran as fast as he could to avoid the persistent girls that had attacked him in the bathroom. All because he had stated when asked what type of bikini wax her preferred that he had no idea what a bikini wax was.

"Oh my God, you're kidding me!" One of the members said, removing something from her purse.

"Well it's obvious that you haven't lived until you experience it…" Minami said, holding out a box to the other girl.

"But what is it?" He asked, not enjoying the hungry look that appeared in their eyes.

"Well you just-" The rest of Minami's explanation was cut off from reader's ears by someone flushing the toilet in the high school bathroom.

"YOU KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" and "TOUCH ME WITH THAT AND I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK!" Could be heard amongst other insanities screamed by the terrified cat. He managed to narrowly escape the hot wax and was now running down the hallway, dodging into an empty classroom.

After the pack of delusional girls had run past, (Kyo) looked over (Tohru's) body to make sure not a hair was out of place…but on a second thought, he decided that her body was ok, realizing that a major pun could have been applied to the situation.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

(Tohru) met (Kyo) outside of the gym when it was time for their P.E. class.

"Are you ready, Kyo?" She asked in a whisper, on her own terrified of going into the locker room again.

"Haha, sorry _biatch_, but I forged a note, excusing me from P.E. until your terrible rash goes away." (Kyo) laughed. Realizing that the word 'biatch' didn't work to the effect he wished, he muttered "I'm sorry Tohru."

(Tohru) ran into the gym, bursting into tears, (Kyo) silently thanking the heavenly powers that none of his classmates were in the gym yet as he ran after her. When she finally stopped running, she kneeled on the ground, tears still pouring down her cheeks.

"Tohru, I'm sorry for calling you a 'biatch'. One of the girls said it and I thought it was a cool word-"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T WRITE ME A NOTE!" (Tohru) sobbed loudly, and (Kyo) sweat dropped.

'_This is STILL embarrassing…talking to myself, whom happens to be crying like a baby.' _Kyo thought while patting her shoulder and thanking God once again that no one was there to see, he told her that he would write her one next time.

"Really?" She sniffed and smiled when he nodded. He offered her a hand to help her stand up and they started to walk away together.

"And Kyo? That's not a rash, it's probably a yeast infection. Does it itch like a mother?" (Tohru) asked, using her own new slang and not hearing his disgusted grunt.

"Tohru, there is NO infection! And your body sure as hell better not be making bread down there!"

**VVVVVVVVSAKI'S NOTESVVVVVVV**

**OOOOOOOOOOH GOD, that was sooo wrong in like, eleven countries. I know mostly girls read this so if a guy had to partake on this…sick event, my apologies. I thought it was funny in it's own twisted, sick humorous way.**

**Sorry for not updating (again) but I've been out of the internet for a while so I'm trying to write while we wait. We just moved and blah blah blah.**

**Umm k. Review or die…I'd pick review. --Saki--**


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